the birding frock

the search for a house we never knew we wanted has turned a bit sour. what was at once thought to be an exciting endeavour, has turned quite quickly a bit pear-shaped and the process has left me feeling a bit dejected and profoundly confused.

dejected is simple: we found a house, we bid on said house, we quickly lost said house.

now every other house is measured up against this elusively lost home and none of them have quite grown tall enough to shadow the reminders of what we never really had, but very much wanted. i feel a bit like the goldilocks of real estate. too small, too big, too ugly, too slanty, too mould infested, too much dirty laundry lying around, smells much too much of cat pee. and a side note to maybe-sellers: please - put away the laundry, make the beds, flush the toilets, empty the cat litter, have the dogs & children out, try going out for dinner or don’t cook anything too potent, take out the trash, and as simple as it sounds, tidy up - even if just a little bit.

and what of this confusion i feel? this feeling as if we’re being evicted from where we currently live and are being forced out at a pace that will see us out of house and home with all our earthly goods stuffed into a sack. the fact is though, we’re not - we’re just racing against the real estate environment at the moment, which is both mean and ugly. and greedy. and unfortunately, i never learned to compete and i’m finding it hard to try. this house-hunting? decidedly unfun.